Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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