considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
did i walk over a car last night?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
