bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
