Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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