How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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