She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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