College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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