Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
