Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni