maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.