every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.