She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
