how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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