Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
