I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
