Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
