Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
