he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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