you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
