I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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