i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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