Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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