It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
