Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
