Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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