great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
