I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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