Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
