just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
