i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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