She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
