u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
