i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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