I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I smell stomach acid.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
