Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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