plz talk dirty to me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
