Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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