bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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