Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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