i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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