just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
