: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
