Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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