Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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