My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
