I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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