hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize