So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I AM VODKA MAN
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
