My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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