I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize