You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
