somebody snuck up and got me drunk
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize