whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
