She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
