I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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