oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
