im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
