I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dick very happy bro
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize