Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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