I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
