Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
