At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We are two peas in an std pod
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
